Madame Noire Editor Shames Kim K. For Trying To Learn How to Style North’s Hair

So last night I’m scrolling through posts on Madame Noire, when I come upon this one:

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I haven’t watched Keeping Up With The Kardashians in a few years, but this post got my attention immediately. However, as I began to read the post in its entirety, I had one thought:

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You can read the article HERE but here’s the gist of it:

This episode was all about Kim trying to learn how to style North’s hair. As we know, Kim’s hair is naturally straight, but North has what looks like 3a curls, very soft and high luster when wet, but clearly prone to frizz and dryness when left to its own devices.

I’m team #freetheblackchild, so if I were in Kim’s shoes, I’d slap a headband on the baby and keep it pushing. But, kudos to Kim, she used this episode to talk about her struggle with North’s curly hair. Kim spoke about not knowing how to braid, so she called in a professional stylist and her homegirls to help teach her. By the end of the episode we see North rocking her mommy-made braids(you can watch the clip here):

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But the Madame Noire writer wasn’t here for it, and I quote:

North west is one-sixth of the way to grown and has the soft, wavy-ringlet hair of a baby doll. About the only noticeable difference between Kim’s fine strands and those of her daughter is the curl on the end — and that’s hardly enough to make braiding so difficult you have to enlist the help of Kim Kimble. If Kim would’ve just stuck to her point about wanting to do more with North’s hair than throw it in buns and ponytails, cool. But to make it about North’s hair being curly is silly, especially when we’re talking about a toddler in the 3a range. There’s plenty Kim can do with her daughter’s hair, starting with let it be free.

Chile….

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Here are some images of North’s hair. Her curls seem to comb out pretty straight, but can otherwise go from 2c, to 3c real quick:

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But the writer wasn’t done:

I’m far less concerned with Kim’s braiding skills than I am her education about “curly hair” such as her daughter’s. Styling is only one piece of the puzzle, actual hair care is a whole other — and a key one if Kim is going to keep braiding North’s hair and putting it in tight buns and ponytails. I’m curious how much effort Kim has put into learning what products work best for North since her hair is so different from hers. Considering she didn’t realize what an issue racism is until she had her biracial children I’m guessing none. I’m also wondering where Kanye’s Black aunties and cousins who can show his wife a thing or two about Black hair care are but that’s an entirely different discussion.

Here’s What’s All The Way Wrong With This Mothaeffin Post

  • We all know good and G*d damn well that it is commonplace for Black women to shame the hell out of White mothers for not appropriately styling their bi-racial children’s hair. Shoot, even King Beyonce had to endure the internet dragging her baby because she and Jigga weren’t overly concerned with putting Blue’s hair in bobbles and slicking her edges down.
  • We also know that hair, in our community holds entirely too much significance for my liking. Hair, especially our natural hair, is  damn near sacred. So if Kim EVA let that baby outside without her hair perfectly coiffed we’d be flooding the woman’s timeline with death threats.
  • Were we NOT the same group who proceeded to DRAG the hell out of Deepika Mutyala from the Today Show (Read about it HERE and HERE), when she attempted to style a Black woman’s hair?
  • The writer suggests that North’s hair is easy and soft, and therefore shouldn’t be a challenge. She reinforces the notion that if you have tighter and kinkier curls your hair is more challenging, and only then, would Kim have room to complain about North’s hair. I REBUKE the 4c shame in the name of all that is Holy. No ma’am. Do not assume. I have enough biracial and multi-racial people in my own family to have seen with my own eyes that the hair you think is easy peasy ain’t all that easy peasy. You ever try braiding silky a$$ hair? No ma’am.
  • The writer goes on to question why Kanye’s aunties and cousins didn’t help out. Ma’am get out of married people’s family business.  Maybe they don’t want to be on the show. Maybe they came another day when nobody was filming. Maybe Kim doesn’t eff with them like that. Maybe Kanye doesn’t eff with them like that. Maybe the producers cut that part out of the episode. Why weren’t her two black friends and a black stylist enough?
  • The writer also takes a jab at Kim for not acknowledging her white privilege until she had bi-racial children. Ma’am, let me get this straight: You’re mad, when a white person admits to their white privilege and wants to do better? Did we not have to create a whole movie called Dear White People, so more white folks could get it. And you’re still mad?
  • The writer goes on to opine that the episode should have been about caring for North’s hair and the best products and so forth. Ma’am, this isn’t a youtube tutorial. The woman spoke openly about wanting to learn how to braid. You even owned that you can’t braid, but you wanted to write, direct, produce, and edit this episode into something it wasn’t?

I’m a blogger too, so I get it. Sometimes you see stuff and you got to your blog to vent and share your thoughts. But I also know that when it comes to some celebs I’m biased AF, so I don’t write about them. Chris Brown could go out right now and donate every last dollar he has to some charity, and I’d still find myself saying something petty about the donation. Why? Because I’m not here for him. Never will be. Same goes for R. Kelley. My belief is that this writer’s own dislike of Kim and the Kardashian brand didn’t allow her to see the good in this episode. Instead, she was  only able to hone in on the “extraness” of Kim’s description of North’s hair.

My Final Thoughts

Black women, Black mothers especially, let us not stoop so low into the shallow Sea of Pettiness that this is who we become. Let us rise up from its murky, misery-laden depth, and bathe ourselves anew in the Ocean of Mind Your Damn Business.

Thoughts?

Well Hello! My name is Lisa and you’ve stumbled upon my own little corner of the world. I’m a lipstick-loving, high heel junkie, mom, and wife. When I’m not here bringing you the latest in beauty, fashion, hot topics, and bits and pieces of my life with my family, you can find me over on youtube swatching lipsticks and sharing my latest natural hairstyles. Make sure you also follow me on Instagram and Snapchat under my brand name Lisa A La Mode. I’m a real person. I promise.

Lisa

Well Hello! My name is Lisa and you've stumbled upon my own little corner of the world. I'm a lipstick-loving, high heel junkie, mom, and wife. When I'm not here bringing you the latest in beauty, fashion, hot topics, and bits and pieces of my life with my family, you can find me over on youtube swatching lipsticks and sharing my latest natural hairstyles. Make sure you also follow me on Instagram and Snapchat under my brand name Lisa A La Mode. I'm a real person. I promise.

42 Comments
    1. I agree. Lisa did a great job pointing out bias while aknowledging her own. People are going to hate but if you can see good in any situation it says a lot about your character. There’s so much more to black women than our distinctively beautiful looks.

  1. Love your point. At least shes trying to do it herself. Every mother has to learn is not like we are born knowing how to do hair….let us not be this petty….smh and yes im natural too.

  2. Very well said.. All that matters is that she is a mother trying to learn.. Who cares about all the rest.. Not sure why we have to bash each other all the time.. I mean what about focusing on all the good rather than being so negative..

  3. Exactly. Im a black woman and my braiding skills are Very limited. I had sons, so never worried about it. If i have granddaughters, im in trouble.

  4. People forget that Kim K. Is NOT just white…she is Armenian…which means she is a minority also.
    SMH
    I have hair like North and that Sh!t is hard to tackle and I’m a licensed Cosmetologist.

    1. Thank you girl!! North got the same hair I got and let me tell you, my white mama was at her wits end!! And, this shit is difficult at times! Some pieces are straight when they ought to be curly it tangles like hell, and it dries out if I do much as go outside without drowning it in Shea Moisture. I’m proud of Kim for trying. That’s awesome, cause she could just take her baby to a salon and never even try. -_-

      1. Is this really serious enough for name-calling? If you look at history “white” at least in America has been a moving target.

  5. I don’t think it’s that difficult where Kim has to make a major case about doing HER daughter’s hair. Heck, we all have issues with our kid’s behavior, hair, education, friends. Once again, she used a topic (this time, curly hair) for propaganda. It’s really not that serious. How about put it in a ponytail?

  6. Not a Kardashian fan over here, but agree with what you said, we can’t complain about white mothers with biracial babies not doing their hair, then when one makes the attempt. .., practically destroy them for said attempt…at least she’s trying…the struggle is real with natural hair, I say all the time it’s a part time job..lol!!

  7. That’s her kid’s hair and whatever she wants to do with it it’s her business. I commend her for wanted to style her kids hair. I know some black parents that should follow her lead, the way I’ve seen how they let their kids come out without combing their hair.

  8. Not every black woman know how to braid, so let’s get that straight first of all. I have a friend who asked me how to braid so she can braid her 2 daughters hair. The issue is really that Kim does not know how to braid which is not a race issue, it’s a woman issue.

  9. I commend mother of mixed children that make an effort to learn how to handle their mixed child’s hair. As a mixed child I get approached daily about how i do my hair and what products do i use. I freely discuss this subject with anyone.

  10. There are some black mama’s that could benefit from dime hair classes! I applaud Kim for her effort to do well by her daughter.

  11. You’re so right I couldn’t agree more. She’s trying to learn and going straight to the source there’s no shame in that. I’m dying laughing over your analogies though- bathe in the ocean of mind your own damn business!!?? Bawhahhaha too funny.

  12. Very well written and I totally agree. I swear, this type of mess is why our true outcries are not taken seriously. I am 100% black and my two girls (also 100% black)?had distinctly different hair textures from my own as well as from one another. There was certainly a learning curve in knowing what worked for both of them. Curly hair can be tricky and have the potential to look like a bird’s nest if it’s not managed properly. And because North is so young, her texture is still subject to change. It isn’t the same as it was when she was a baby. We have entirely too much to worry about as black women to be concerned with such trivial affairs.

  13. Agreed.
    If I may add my two cents. I commend Kim on learning how to perfect braiding her own child’s hair. she has money to send her to a salon and never worry, but she wants to bond with her child. It is very difficult teaching someone how to braid silky hair.

  14. This entire post has given me all kinds of life and feels! Girl if you don’t preach!!! I see some people are still missing the point. Kim didn’t use the episode for propaganda – she brought up a very real issue that many white mothers have when it comes to caring for their bi-racial children’s hair, and she SOUGHT OUT HELP, which many don’t do! So good on Kim for realizing her lack in skill and wanting to learn. That’s the key – she’s a mother who loves her child and she wanted to learn how to better take care of her. Isn’t that what we all strive to do as mothers? Good grief! I’m not a Kardashian fan either, but I respect the heck out of Kim for showing the world that this was an area in her parenting that she lacked, it bothered her, and she wanted to do better for her child. KUDOS to Kim and shame on the Madame Noire writer for being so judgemental and nasty in her criticisms of Kim!

  15. I’m not fan of the Kardashian. I just don’t understand why people try to bash her for this. There are plenty white mothers who will never try to learn how to style their mixed/black babies. It’s really great that she try to do it HERSELF.

    It will certainly create a complicity between her & North.

  16. I am right there with you about that article. I am not so sure if the writer actually holds a bias or if the writer knows the general disdain many women have for Kim KW. I think the author could have been playing that to get clicks for the article. It is good bait for fans, stans, and haters.

  17. I respect the woman for fully owning and trying to learn how to do her daughter’s hair. A lot of non-Black women struggle with this issue and probably apprecuated the episode. As far as this article most of it is speculation— in the mind of the author. Kim is a mother who appears to be at least some what hands on. She has plenty of time to grow into her role as a mother and to discover various ways to care for her daughter’s hair. That’s generally how these things happen.

  18. I agree with you. With my children boys and girls I had all kinds of textures to contend with. Kim openly sharing her musings in grooming her daughter curly hair is not wrong. Every mom goes through it. A child with Asian straight hair can have a texture so coarse it can’t hold in a pony tail.
    Hair texture is a racial issue when there is pressure to assimilate to another race.
    Kim learning how to style her daughter’s hair texture is a mother making an effort in caring for her child.
    That madamenoir editor needs to stop projecting their feelings of rejection and inadequcy on a reality tv celibrity.
    Thanks for this rebuttal

  19. I must admit, i am not a kim fan, and that goes for the whole family, i am just annoyed with them all around…but if she decided to get help with it because she knows she has problems, then there is nothing wrong with that….hell i am black and my braiding skills are a bit questionable so i dont think it was that serious
    Great post Lisa

  20. You are so right Lisa. I don’t watch this show nor am I a big fan of Kim but I respect the effort. I don’t agree with the assumption that 3a curls are easy because I experienced first hand as a child with a mom that has straight hair and no experience with curls the turmoil and mistreatment of my hair due to lack of knowledge. It wasn’t until my teens that I began embracing my curls and college days where I began to learn how to properly care for my curls. I am a curly hair girl all the way! It’s so great to hear that Kim is embracing baby Norths curls because that means baby North will learn that her curls are beautiful from a very young age.

  21. I don’t usually comment on any posts nor do I watch a lot of the Kardashians, however I did see a piece of Kim combing hair. I have three daughters and combing hair takes up a HUGE amount of my time. We have braids, locks and a fro so I do what I can do, when I feel like it. Sometimes I call in for backup. Kim can do whatever Kim has to do to get that head combed. We should be celebrating all of our daughters hair types and the styles we put them in.

  22. And let’s also not forget that many black women are terrible at “dealing with” black hair and are quick to slap a perm on a little baby’s scalp which is just shameful.

  23. I totally agree with this constructive critique. Kim is acknowledging that she doesn’t know how to braid her hair, and she’s educating herself about it. What’s wrong with that? You really can’t tell a person’s hair texture by looking at a picture. It could be tangled and North may refuse to let her comb it. This is her life, she’s just giving us a snapshot of what she does. She showed humility in admiting her flaws when she could have pretended that she does it all by herself. Good on her!

  24. Madame Noire’s editor really missed the mark in that post. I definitely respect Kim for wanting to learn how to work with her daughter’s hair. I even watched the episode, but shhh…don’t tell nobody 🙂

  25. You are absolutely correct. This article author went far beyond too far. I’m not a Kardashian fan, but I see this is Kim doing what she felt was best for her daughter. Better than doing the wrong thing and having a child’s hair fall out.

  26. I’m confused why kids have to do/have anything done to their hair? So long as it’s clean what does it matter? I get that when kids get a little older they want it to be cute for school. But North is teeny tiny. Why does the community think she and Kim has to worry about little kids being styled at all?

    1. It’s hard to explain if you aren’t a part of the community, but a child’s hair, in our community, is a sign of cleanliness and being well looked after. It is incredibly important and held almost sacred in our community.

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