If there’s one thing I can’t stand it’s folks talking about people’s kids and how folks choose to parent said children. As a first time Mom, I do a lot of what other first-time Moms do: compare your child to other children to get a sense of where they should be. Sure, we consult our doctors and read resources online, but looking at what other kids are doing is almost always the default. We shouldn’t do it, but we can’t help it. What’s worse, Moms sometimes think they know what’s best for other children based on their experience with their own. If you are neither spending a significant amount of time with a child, nor are you a licensed child development expert: Keep your mouth shut about other people’s kids.
That’s exactly what Tamar Braxton had to tell a fan yesterday:
This week has been the week of folks being judgmental as hell about mothers. First we had an editor at Madame Noire (read about it HERE) coming for Kim Kardashian about how she views North’s hair, and now this.
Listen, I get it, celebs put their business out there so we sometimes feel that they are less than human or perhaps more accessible than they really are. Why this woman felt privileged enough to speak publicly about another woman’s child’s speech development is beyond me. It’s often a hard balance for those of us who share so much of our public lives. My son is a huge part of who I am, and he’s slowly becoming a part of my overall brand, but I often vacillate between sharing him and then deleting all mention of him online. Why? Cuz folks get too damn familiar. Sharing images or videos of our children is not an invitation for strangers to question us or our children.
And while we’re at it, this video has been going around too, and it again makes me mad AF:
The question alone implies that this mother who knows her child above any of us watching is doing something wrong. What I see above is a mother exercising extreme patience with a child who is not yet able to adequately express his frustration. In short, he’s having a tantrum and she’s trying her best to calm him down. The introduction of a pacifier to a child who looks like a big 3 or 4 year-old, signals to me that he may suffer from some behavioral problems. He may even have special needs.. For all we know the child is due for his medication. Sure she could yell at him, spank him, grab him more aggressively, but why is she required to respond to her child in that manner? No doubt she’s probably tried your way and with her child, and it doesn’t work. He’s not behaving violently and he’s not endangering himself or her. He’s screaming and crying. Big deal.
Rather than have compassion for this woman who is clearly in a stressful and frustrating circumstance, we’re circling around this video. If she were beating him, we’d be circling around a video of a child abuser, and she’d be in jail.
I know I’m ranting, but we have all go to do better. Leave people’s kids alone.