Real Housewives of Atlanta’s Phaedra Parks and Kandi Burruss have gossip sites ablaze with the recent spat that aired between the two on the hit Bravo show. Truth be told things didn’t escalate to a drinks in the face type situation, but it was sad all the same to see these two women who have been friends for the past 3 seasons (at least), leaving a tense conversation with little more than a dismissive “bye, Felicia” between the two.
Here’s a snippet in case you missed it:
As I watched what seemed to be a friendship dissolving right before my eyes, I reflected on what I think could be the main culprits in their split. Here are three things that I observed during the span of Kandi and Phaedra’s friendship that led to this break up.
Loyalty before pride.
Sometimes, especially in fights, it’s becomes the priority to be right. We’ll say anything to make/prove our point, even things that are better left unsaid. During Phaedra and Kandi’s very tense meeting, Kandi mentioned Phaedra’s eagerness to get her husband Apollo out the door so she could set her eyes on greener pastures. This shouldn’t have been a thing. Nobody watching should know this information about Phaedra and Apollo. Phaedra shared this with Kandi in confidence. It’s a huge breach of girl code to then spill your ex friend’s tea just because you don’t kick it anymore. Be true enough to YOU to not be that kind of woman.
Listen more than you talk.
It became fairly obvious, very early in the conversation that Kandi wasn’t taking any prisoners (no pun intended…sips tea) at that table with Phaedra. Phaedra seemed to be trying to break down to Kandi what her grievances were, but Kandi already seemed “prepared” and ready to shut down anything outside what she was expecting/open to hearing. At one point even telling Kandi to just “stop”. The conversation between the two seemed more one sided than an actual discussion between two adults. Phaedra seemed to shut down shortly after that.
Remember to wear her shoes
My biggest beef was with Phaedra, though. She sure did invite herself to her own pity party and was really feeling some type of way about the fact that Kandi wasn’t at her beck and call, even though Kandi was very pregnant during the throes of Phaedra’s separation. Kandi’s mother in-law had also just died unexpectedly. It shouldn’t have been hard for Phaedra to understand why Kandi couldn’t be her nursemaid during this time, especially if what Kandi alleges is true (that Phaedra wasn’t all that upset about Apollo getting thrown in the hammer because she had already moved on to a new boo)But real-talk, adult friendships are like that. We can support each-other, but our own needs and families always come first. Perhaps if Phaedra had put herself in her friends shoes, she would have been better able to handle the fact that Kandi couldn’t be a shelter in a time of storm. *hard side eye*
Relationships are difficult enough without complicating things by being petty and accusatory. Next time you get into a disagreement with a friend, I hope these 3 tips come back to your memory cuz as Nene said:
Who do you think is more wrong in this situation? Sound off below!
I’m 30 something reside in Massachusetts and enjoy pop culture.