I’m an internet creep. I admit it. I stay in comment sections, sipping tea and eating popcorn. Reading how folks respond differently to the same topic is a great pastime. If you don’t already, you should try it!
Most people feel just fine jumping in and sharing their opinions, but there is a segment of people who always begin their comments with “I try not judge,” which leads me to this post.
I know I can’t be the only person who judges the fuck outa folks, with little to no apology, right? Like, for real, there are people who don’t judge?! Where they do that at?
And by judgement I don’t mean running around telling folks who do morally questionable things they are going to hell. I’m a member of the aforementioned club, so I know not to cast aspersions in that direction. And I certainly don’t mean forming opinions about folks who will have zero effect on my personal life. By judging, I mean making sound decisions about whether or not I should entertain someone in my life based on the behavior said person exhibits.
Auntie Maya Angelou said it best:
“When people show you who they are, believe them.”
I actually prefer Muva Oprah’s adjunct to this which is:
“When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”
As adults, it’s imperative that we use our God-given intellect to assess a situation or a person before jumping in feet first.
How many of us have found ourselves burned or injured in some way by someone whom we knew, based on their exhibited behavior, was not to be trusted? Some folks will surprise you, this is true, but most people advertise their flaws, we just default to willful blindness and then comfort ourselves by feigning shock later.
Talking ’bout, “I can’t believe so and so would do this to me! Knowing good and God damn well that so-and-so ain’t never been shit, you just chose not to judge.
We should never shun the use discernment. It’s an easy tool we were all born with and it was meant for our good. When you fail to use it, any and everybody gets a free pass to eff with you. Unless you want to constantly feel victimized, you better hop on this here judgement train. It’s a free ride and will save yourself a whole heap of trouble down the road.
Feel free to share your stories about how judging someone saved you some trouble later on. I know I can’t be alone! Also, if you like this post I have more like it HERE and HERE.
Hey, Boo! My name is Lisa and you’ve stumbled upon my own little corner of the world. I’m a 30 something-year-old writer/mother/wife who happens to love lipstick, high heels, blackness, and the truth. You’ll find a mix of everything on this site, so I won’t bore you by trying to define this space. I hope you stay awhile!