Filomena Kaguako, 27, is a black Irish blogger. She penned an open letter to the while men who frquently approach her, not for a true relationship, but to fetishize her dark skin. Read a portion of her letter below:
There’s more to us than our colour.
There’s more to us than our looks.
There’s more to us than the body that you have unjustly exotified because you refuse to look at what we can offer you intellectually.
We have depth. We have character. We have value.
So please stop sexualising us.
When you sexualise us you don’t make us feel beautiful. You don’t make us feel special. You don’t make us feel unique. You make us feel like an object that you will eventually get bored of and toss out after having derived maximum pleasure from us.
Stop sexualising us.
I have depth. I have character. I have value, so please stop sexualising me.
Filomena , like, many single women took a gamble and tried her hand at online dating by joining the dating site, Plenty Of Fish Upon joing the site she quickly found out the Irishmen who were sliding into her DM’s were for all the wrong reasons:
I have been in Ireland for 18 years and I’ve been trying to find men who don’t look at me and just see the fact I’m black. I want them to look at me as a whole person.
Filomena has since deleted her Plenty of Fish account, but you can read her entire letter about her Plenty of Fish experience HERE. For more, check out this video Filomena posted to her youtube channel.
The dating scene is rough and hyper-sexualization is not a foreign concept for women, particularly women of color. It’s bad enough that we are sexualized for our body parts such as our breasts, butts, and hips. To be sexualized just for being black is just another hurdle to overcome.
Have you had any similar experiences? Sound off below!
I’m 30 something reside in Massachusetts and enjoy pop culture.