The first day of school.
We love it, but most kids hate it. And even the kids who don’t hate it can’t help but being excited about all of the new new. New friends, new teachers, new clothes, new school supplies.
It’s exciting AF. Just ask JB:
My son, JacksonBlaise, is only 4 but I’m already taking school seriously. This year he’ll be going full-time, 5 days a week, and I am beyond excited to see how he progresses. Also, with having him in school full-time, I anticipate being able to get more work done during the day so that I can be available to do some home-schooling on the weekends.
Sounds like I’m on top of my game, right? Wrong.
As a full-time content creator/blogger, I work nonstop. The whole “you can have it all,” theory is a straight up myth. Unless you are wealthy enough to have a nanny, a maid, a chef, and a personal assistant, you cannot have it all. And despite knowing this truth, I still find myself attempting to pursue having it all, which inevitably results in a series of fuck ups.
Case in point:
JB’s first day of school.
The Thursday before school was set to begin I departed for a scheduled work trip. I was working with a brand for a fashion show during New York Fashion week, so my husband and I made arrangements to make sure JB would be all set while I was away. My husband took Thursday and Friday off from work so he could attend JB’s school open house, and so he could enjoy the last few days of summer with with him one-on-one.
School, as I understood it, was scheduled to begin on Tuesday. I’d be back home from New York by Sunday evening, giving me one last day to make sure he was all set for the first day.
My trip to New York was grueling, so when I got home on Sunday I basically slept straight into Monday. While I was in New York, I called my husband to ask how the open house went, he indicated that everything had gone well. I was busy so I didn’t press for any more information.
So Monday rolls around and I get all of his first day essentials together. He’s four so all he needs is a lunch box and bookbag. So we were good. I’m also still exhausted from New York. It always takes me a good 3-4 days after a trip to get really back into the swing of things. Fast-forward to around 10am that morning when I get a call from the nurse at JB’s school.
Her: Hi, is this Lisa?
Her: This is so so and so from the such and such school. Sorry to be calling you so late in the morning! ha ha…I’m just checking to see if JacksonBlaise is going to be heading in this morning?
Her: You still there?
Me: Yes. I’m here. So today was the first day?
Her: Yes ma’am. We sent a letter home a few weeks ago, and I think your husband picked up the school calendar on Thursday.
Me: Gosh, I am so sorry. I could have sworn it was set to begin tomorrow. I’m so sorry. We’ll see you tomorrow.
So I hang up with her, and as a true Pisces, I have myself a good cry. I mean he’s four and doesn’t know the difference, but I know. I quickly look through my emails and also discover that his swimming lessons were set to begin on Tuesday, not his regular school. Also, sitting right on the kitchen counter is the packet of information my husband picked up from the open house. He had left it there for me to look through when I got home on Sunday.
In the grand scheme of mommy fuck-ups this isn’t the worst. He didn’t know the difference and we walked into school on Tuesday like it really was the first day.
It’s been a few weeks, so I can totally laugh about this now. But this was definitely a wake-up call. I think we like to believe that we can really balance our lives, but true balance is keeping our priorities straight. Yes, I work day and night to help ensure this kid has the kind of future only money can buy, but I can’t be so focused on the future that I forget the present. He is my only baby, and my only real responsibility is making sure he has his physical, emotional, and educational needs met.
Mommy fuck-ups happen. They do, but I think the mark of a good mother is recognizing the fuck-up and making every effort to do better going forward.
Missing the first day of school forced me to look at how poorly I’m managing his education. So I’ve committed myself to being more involved. I plan to volunteer in his classroom, and I’ve already asked his teacher to give me an idea of her lesson plan for this quarter so I can work with him at home. I’ve also enrolled him a local tutoring program to help him get on the fast-track for reading and writing. We’ll see how any of this actually goes, but at least I am trying. Am I going to ever be the homeschooling, making crafts all-day kind of mom? No. But I can and will do better. It’s all any of us can do.
Your turn! Share some of your mommy fuck-ups below!! I know I’m not alone:
Hey, Boo! My name is Lisa and you’ve stumbled upon my own little corner of the world. I’m a 30 something-year-old writer/mother/wife who happens to love lipstick, high heels, blackness, and the truth. You’ll find a mix of everything on this site, so I won’t bore you by trying to define this space. I hope you stay awhile!